“Maintaining spirituality and humanism are the keys to success. It’s a balance.” – Bikram Choudhury
Yep. Me too. And quite frankly, it is often my mouth that those words are coming from.
With spirituality there is a sense that everything happens for a reason and as spiritual beings having a human experience we need to spend time uncovering what those reasons are. Once we uncover the reason then we can take that forward with us and learn and grow in an entirely new way – expanding our life as we know it.
While this is all fine and good and absolutely something we can (and I might strongly encourage *should*) do, it is not the answer for every experience that comes our direction.
This past week, a friend of mine had a pup that ran away from home. Some of the comments from others I read had the idea that “the pup knew” and “it was her choice” and “maybe you shouldn’t go find her” and “this is the life she chose”. My friend, like me, is also a self proclaimed spiritual woman and I wonder if she felt obligated to jump immediately to “finding the lesson” in the dog running away.
Good on her, she instead kept her focus forward and on the task at hand – to find her pup. She spent HOURS looking and searching and spreading the message. She went out for an entire week to explore and ultimately she found her pup on the road after having been struck by a car and killed.
She shared this sad news and while many sent their condolences, still others talked about the blessing in the lesson and finding the purpose and moving on, etc. Some “spiritual people” were so quick to move past the pain and into the lesson, understanding, and reason.
This is why I think that spirituality can totally and completely suck.
For the past couple of years I’ve been holding onto some hurt and sadness and I never really allowed myself to feel it. Instead, I quickly took the lesson from it (which, for the record, I firmly believe in) and moved on. Taking the lesson is one thing but moving on without actually feeling – that is another thing and absolutely NOT recommended.
As a spiritual seeker, I always look for ways in which I can apply what I am experiencing in order to learn and grow and sometimes I’m not giving myself permission to first experience what it means to be a human.
I might be a spiritual being but I am having a human experience.
As a human, I have real emotions and they are sometimes raw. And that’s okay.
As a spiritual being, I need to give myself permission to experience those human and very real emotions BEFORE I decide I must process through it and find the light in the situation. Finding the light and lesson is certainly an important piece, and processing and feeling our truth (which is sometimes anger, sadness, frustration) is also a very important piece.
Yes, ultimately, I DO believe there was/is a lesson in the dog running away and in her life being cut short. BUT, I also believe that we don’t need to go and find it immediately. Instead, we need to be okay with being sad and hurt and frustrated. A dog was lost (and died) and that isn’t something that we need to take lightly. Eventually the lesson will unfold and healing can take place.
I have a dear friend that recently lost her mom due to a very aggressive disease. She was diagnosed the same year that she passed. It was a quick turn around. It would have been brazen for me to show up asking her to find the lesson and telling her to simply move through the pain. While the lesson and the ultimate and larger than life ‘reason’ may unfold at a later date, it is my role to just show up and BE with my friend. I will show up to share fond stories we remember. I will listen to her as she cries at the new reality. I will hold her as she wonders what life will be like going forward.
The spiritual journey, when sought after, can sometimes be very misleading. It can sometimes suck – especially when we feel the pressure to “always find the positive”. At the same time, a life without feeling all of the emotions we’ve been gifted with is a life that isn’t worth experiencing.
It is through the pain with which I will experience greater pleasure.
It is only after experiencing deep darkness that I can truly know the bright and healing light.
It is through the depths of trials that I can fully grasp and understand my strength.
In order to get to greater pleasure, bright and healing light, and to know my strength, I MUST be willing to feel and experience everything along my journey. There is no more time for sweeping under the rug. There is no more time for wishing something away and just smudging it with positivity and spiritual vibes. Nope. Instead, the time now is to fully experience and embrace because when I do I can show up to others in a bigger and more beautiful way.
Is there an area in your life where you find you are just glossing over the feeling to get to the lesson? Is it time to stop letting spirituality suck so you can start experiencing life?
I’d love to hear your thoughts…connect with me directly and let’s chat!
Make a Difference . . . Lead with Love
P.S. – This isn’t meant to give you permission to just simply sit in the sh** of life!! Its purpose is to get you to realize that just because you are practicing spirituality and what that means, you can also experience the depth and breadth of feelings…and you need to! Just don’t allow yourself to get hung up on all the crap, either! 🙂