I wrote this post for The Financial Happiness Project on Tuesday, June 7th.
As I was thinking about this post this morning, I wanted to share a personal story with you. We’ve all heard the term Aha Moment. It’s the moment when the proverbial light bulb goes on in your head – TA DA!
Aha Moment – it’s the moment of clarity, a defining moment where you gain real wisdom – wisdom you can use to change your life.
This is the moment I want to share with you. A moment that once I was open to receiving it, it changed my life immediately and dramatically.
Prior to being the Ambassador of Joy, I was a student with FHP and learned some incredible lessons and gained some wonderful insights. I owe a lot of who I am today to one of those lessons. As with many lessons, they aren’t always fun while we are in the middle of them! This was definitely one of those moments.
I was connecting on my weekly call and I had a chance to mention something that had been bothering me for years. I was 33 years old at the time and I couldn’t remember a moment in my life when my mother had said she was proud of me. It hadn’t mattered what I had done, I never heard those words. I am now a Mom of a 14 year old daughter and I make sure I share with her often how proud I am. I shared this with my guide and he wasn’t having it. He gently showed me that when I decide how my mom “should have been”, I am placing judgment. Further, he said that unless and until I let go of that judgment, I will never fully experience true financial wealth and/or happiness. Allowing myself to sit in that judgment meant that I always had a reason to step into the victim role.
Let’s just say I had a really hard time hearing this. After all, why is now MY fault that my mom had never said that to me!?!? Shouldn’t a mother say those words to her daughter? What was he talking about!? Let’s also just say that I shared with my guide that I was mad (I believe I even said *pissed*) at what he had said. I proceeded to tell him that I wasn’t really ready to let go of feeling that way. He said that was fine, you don’t need to let go of it, if you don’t want to. He also said, but if you don’t, you’ll never be able to move forward fully.
That conversation took place on a Wednesday afternoon. Thursday morning I had my weekly networking meeting. After letting myself sleep on our conversation, I was driving to the meeting that morning. As I was driving, I heard one of my favorite songs and decided that I had nothing to lose and everything to gain if I ‘let go’ of wanting/needing/expecting to hear those words from my mom. In that moment, I said to myself – out loud, in the car – okay, I let it go. I will be proud of myself and that is all that I need to know.
My meeting wraps up promptly at 8:30 am and I headed out to my vehicle. There was a message from my mom – this wasn’t unusual as we generally spoke a couple times a week in the morning. The message was simple – “Please call me when you can.” Before leaving the parking lot, I dialed her number, she answered on the second ring.
Me: Hi Mom!
Mom: Well, good morning! How was your meeting?
Me: The meeting went well. What’s going on? What do you have planned for today?
Mom: Not much. I just wanted to call and tell you how proud of you I am.
Me: Wow, thanks mom! (and in my mind I’m thinking – what the heck! Hold the phone – what is going on here?!!?)
Um, Mom, where did that come from?
Mom: Well, I’ve been watching what you’re doing and your helping so many people and I just wanted you to know how proud I am of you.
Me: Really? Thank you so much.
I learned a great lesson that day – or I could say, I RE-learned a great lesson that day. Because I was holding so tightly to the idea that my mom had never said she was proud, there was no way I could ever hear it from her. I now recognize that she may have been saying it my entire life but I was so convinced she never was – I didn’t have a space to hear it. The moment I opened up the space and let go of judgment, is the moment I heard it because I had a space for it.
Since that time, my mom shares with me often how proud she is and how much she loves what I do. Her sharing these words with me is icing on the cake. The cake itself is knowing that I have released that judgment and in so doing, I’ve opened myself up to greater happiness – both financially and otherwise.
What is in your life right now that you are holding in judgment? Are you blocking yourself from receiving and you just need to recognize it?
Mom, thank you for all of your love and support as I’ve grown – especially in the last couple of years. I appreciate you!